Auntie Librarian

I recently joined a yoga studio with the goals of increasing my strength and flexibility, finding a community of like minded people, and stress relief. This is the first step on my journey back to fitness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, I signed up for a variety of yoga classes: restorative yoga, yin yoga and hatha yoga. I posted to Facebook about my new found yoga studio, and texted my friends.

“It even has one of those classes where you hang from the fabric like Pink!” I texted my friend Lori. Though at the time I had no intentions of ever joining one of those classes.

However, after perusing the studio's course listings I changed my mind. The description of the antigravity restorative yoga class for all levels sounded appealing even to someone who hasn’t been exercising regularly for the past year. Words like: no prerequisites, gentle, healing, levitating meditations, and floating sivasana lured me in. The real clincher was the phrase, “It offers accessibility to students with physical limitations” Perfect! Just a click and I was signed up for the class.

Up until the moment I walked into the studio, I was excited about doing this new thing, taking risks and being brave. I was plucky and proud.

I checked into the studio, stowed my jacket and shoes and began to wonder exactly what I was doing taking this class. Nervous, I tried to chat up some of my fellow students, many of whom seemed to already know one another. They sat in the fabric hammocks that were suspended from the ceiling as they chatted. I stood off to the side, noticing that I was older and heavier than most of these people. Confidence shrinking now, I asked one of the students how long she had been doing the zero gravity classes. “Oh, three or four months” she said with a serious and unfriendly face. “You don’t belong here!” said the voice in my head. A few other people trickled into the class and everyone took a fabric hammock as the teacher took her place at the front of the room.

All of the hammocks closest to the door were taken. No easy escape for me. It took me three or four tries just to get myself hoisted into the hammock like everyone else. The teacher came to each student to check the height of their hammock. It turns out mine was too high for me. Relief flooded my mind. She lowered the hammock and I hoisted myself up. Now I was swinging around just like the others! Hooray!

Our first instructions were to lift our right leg up and over to straddle the hammock like a saddle or a giant wedgie. I lifted my leg as high up as I could, and I put it back down and looked around to see that everyone else had managed to straddle their hammock. I shifted myself in the hammock and tried again. Eventually, I resorted to trying to grab my right foot as I lifted my leg. It took me three times to catch my foot. After considerable struggle, I was in the correct position. This was going to be interesting. We didn’t stay in that position as long as it took me to get into it.

Visions of Lucille Ball trying to keep up at the chocolate factory flashed in my head as I did the best I could to follow along. Everyone seemed to fit in their hammocks with ease while mine felt like spanx. Despite my clumsy pulling and tugging of the hammock and having to make several attempts for each pose, I was able to do some form of about three of the seven poses. Eventually, the teacher came around and lowered the hammocks to about a foot off the ground. I stepped into the hammock, terrified that my weight would pull the thing all the way to the floor leaving no room to swing. It didn’t touch the ground! Alright! Now I would be able to do all of the poses, I said to myself, nearly tripping, as my foot got stuck in the hammock.

One of the poses involved sitting in the hammock and leaning back, letting your shoulders rest on the floor. I got into this pose successfully. Hanging on to the hammock with both hands like a swing, we hoisted ourselves up for the next pose. Use your feet to push yourself four steps back were the next instructions. When I was doing that, I lost traction and began to swing forward in my hammock. I tried to stop myself with my Flintstones feet brakes as I clawed at the fabric of my hammock trying to pull myself more upright, but my body kept swinging as my feet slipped and slid below me like a wet dog scrambling to get out of a bathtub. There I was swinging out of control, trying desperately to stop myself as my still classmates gracefully curved and turned and bent in their beautiful poses. I can still hear the sound of my feet sliding around on the floor as my hammock slowly came to a stop.

Thankfully, I was able to get myself into the position for floating sivasana, our last pose. Lying flat, in the hammock, like a cocoon. The teacher came around and offered to swing us in the darkened room. It was lovely. Tears of joy, relief and humiliation rolled down my cheeks as I drifted back and forth imagining myself one day being able to gracefully go through all the poses. But for now, I did it. I tried this new thing, and I think I just might try it again. After class, I texted my friend Lori. "Guess what I just did?!" Pink would be so proud.

“I’m learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes.” PINK

Aside from the fact that I would get to work with children for longer timespans, this new position was attractive to me because the library is, GORGEOUS. Tasteful and rich are words I would use to describe my new surroundings. I must say that my previous library was also fantastic. It had a computer lab with 28 computers and a Smart Board, a huge motorized projector screen with a ceiling mounted projector, a dividable conference room space, and cathedral ceilings. My new library's high ceilings are skirted with luxurious moldings, huge picture windows flood the space with natural light. Three circular windows add a unique nautical vibe to the room. And let me tell you, librarians: the circulation desk - is to die for. Yup. It is a for real circulation desk, set high with slots and bins and places to repair books. The circulation desk at my old school, it was literally: a desk with a box beside it. In the floor plan this library is referred to as the "reading room." To top it all off, there is this stepped reading area by the windows. I just love it. Immediately I said to my sisters, "THIS is where I will have story time."

I swiftly gave away the alphabet rug that was on the floor near the projector screen, since I decided that we would not be using that for story time. Ever. Not with those lovely beanbags on the steps. By the way, story time, that was another reason I liked the sound of this job. I wanted some of that good old story time. I pictured myself reading fantastic picture books to groups of enthralled children who sat gazing at me in wide-eyed excitement, hanging, on my every word. I pictured myself doing the voices. Yes, I would read in the voices of the characters in the books. I would read to them exactly as Barry Lane had implored us to do many years ago when I heard him speak at the Spartanburg Writing Project Conference, with the voices. He said, "You have to do the voices! Don't read like a robot! You will never get these kids to love reading if you read to them like that!"

School began and classes started coming to the library. I excitedly sat the children down in the bean bag chairs to read to them. This was something I was looking forward to. I can't even remember what book it was that I chose. But, I can tell you this: that story time, it was awful. The children would not, could not, sit still and be quiet while I read. I even spotted a pair of students playing rock paper scissors, while I was reading. The horror! And I was doing the voices! Prior to this, my only elementary-aged story time experience involved my nieces and nephews on my lap or snuggled in cozy. One on one. Very low-ratio story time. Now, I was frustrated and confused and a bit disheartened. "That did not go well!" I said to my partner Cheryl. I selected another book for the next group, thinking that would do the trick. It did not do the trick. Wiggle wiggle, whisper whisper. Shift, giggle. Poke. This was not how I thought story time would be. Was it the bean bags? Was it the story? Was it me? Did I have unrealistic expectations?

Story time had to change, and I had to figure out how to make it work . . fast! I consulted with my coworkers and fellow librarians for suggestions. Did they have this same problem? Why did I give away that rug? Since then, I have made a few changes. So far, things are going more smoothly for everyone. And that, my friends, will be exactly what my next post will be about! In my next post, I will share the suggestions and advice that have helped me improve story time and share some of the fun experiences I have had.

I am exhausted. Still. It has been two weeks since our 40th Annual South Carolina Association of School Librarians conference, and I am still not back to 100% Jen. My ear infection is almost cleared up and the house is back in order. Our book fair is over and the library budget is almost spent. Phew! Hubby and I had big plans to celebrate all the hard work that went into planning this event with a spa day at the Grove Park Inn. Since I got sick almost immediately after conference was over, and our dog was having seizures, we had to cancel our spa day. I really want to celebrate, but it looks like that will have to wait.

Planning this conference has been, as Samantha McManus says, "Like being strapped to the front of a speeding train." It had literally taken over my life: work, eat, sleep, exercise, conference planning. And now that it's over I am a crumpled mess by the side of the tracks. It reminds me of one of my favorite Dixie Chicks songs, "Am I the Only One"(Who's Ever Felt This Way). The lyrics "It rung me out and strung me out and it hung years on my face... and now my sense of humor needs a break" hit home for me. It is comforting to know that I am NOT the only one who's ever felt this way. Isn't that right, Diana Carr? And when I see a tweet like this:

It makes it all worthwhile. One rejuvenated school librarian impacts an entire school of teachers and students.

I have to write the conference review, but the conference is just a blur! One of my favorite moments is stuffing the blue plastic portfolios while listening to Wagon Wheel and the sound track that Dawn James made for us. Project Connect was pure awesomeness and I loved it. I wanted to stand up and cheer a few times! Seeing the authors arrive, meeting them and seeing them show up in the exhibit hall for autographing was awesome. I also enjoyed Sharon Flake and Sara Pennypacker's talks at the Author Celebration Luncheon. Other than those moments, the rest was pretty much a stress casserole for me.

I have to make a list of the lessons I have learned and pass them on to the next President Elect. I have to write thank you notes. So many thank you notes. . .